Intuitive Note: I've Seen Your Kind Before

Men often say the same thing about me all the time when I ask about how they feel about me, "I mean...You Cool."

This is a tell tell sign that said man has no intention on taking me seriously. 🐸☕

So, when I cut them off, or cut off my feelings that I initially have for them I don't feel bad. They deserve ever cold shoulder that I give. (You wanna waste my time why can't I return the favor? You know that good old 'tit for tat' every man hates after they initiated the 'tit' in order for me to even be able to 'tat' 😕 😂)

I feel as though there is no point in using my emotions when dealing with men. They NEVER feel anything back in regards to a Plain Jane like me in a era full of bad bitches anyway. I just don't fit in. And you know, I'm okay with that.

But, what I'm not okay with is men not knowing what THEY PERSONALLY want and deciding to be attracted to whatever the next guy is attracted to. First it was white, then light skinned, then skinny, then thick, then bbw, now its conscious females. Like, isn't that supposed to be a "manly quality" the ability to lead and make decisions..guess that could be why those are boys and not men.

However, in this era there is a pathetic cycle of indecisive manboys that only want what others/they homies got. Basically, they want what's trending on social media just like the females that they claim are "gold diggers". Well I guess that makes them soul diggers (new phrase!!) then.

SOUL DIGGER (Master Level Fuckboy): male equivalent of a gold digger; however, a kin to the Fuckboy, the soul digger is only there to make you "feel" wanted just enough to keep slowly taking parts of the woman's soul that he is pursuing for the time being. These men use their prey/mate/partner as an emotional/egotistical crutch until they find better. Much like the gold digger the soul digger wants what they want and will use the lover at their expense.

Gold diggers want money and every material thing while soul diggers want to know everything that is you. They endure this process of "getting to know you inside and out and taking things slowly" in order to better manipulate without the lover getting suspicious of their insincerity.

Soul diggers tend to go after the person with the inner light about themselves and are very understanding, I.e. Empaths. They're easy prey because they always "understand", no matter what bullshit excuse the soul digger throws their way even after being let down time and time again. 

-Makeda Meraki

Rich

I really think
I'm never gone be rich
Cause to me,
The money don't mean shit
I get it and give back
Cause My people,
they NEED it..
So, Sometimes I think I'm never gone be rich,
I'm trynna tell you, the money don't mean shit.
If "Jesus" is in thee
"Universe" is in me
And Everything is WE.
I'm Just trying to BE ME
Yo, I really think I'm never gone be rich
Being rich means having money,
And money don't mean shit.

-Makeda Meraki
🌌🌜🌞✊✌

Really Confused

You aren't really confused
You know what you want.
You're just a heartbroken boy, attempting to flaunt
His ego and lies and maybe his thoughts.
Scorned by his past
Awakening love in every woman you pass
Knowing first hand "that thing" won't last.
You fake it
Until she can't take it.
Claiming to be awakened.
But your soul has already been taken.
By a woman that took too much
And in return leaving your heart on a crutch.
And every woman you get with is just to mend you up.
For the next woman seeking a soul
NOW you don't know what to do..
You've run into The One, that's real life GOALS
You aren't really confused,
Your karma's just so backed up, this type of love got you walking on ya tip toes...

-Makeda Meraki
🌌🌜🌞

A Lifetime Without The Sun

I love the sun. And when im sad sometimes i just look up in the sky and can smile. There's something about the light that appeals to my soul. So if you could imagine being all alone in the dark. Wondering. Wandering. With no one there to help. With no one to run to. No one to look at for reassurance. And at no time you were able to see the light of day. And when u find shelter on your own, although you admire the beautiful sound of the rain hitting the windows during a thunder storm you're still afraid you'll be struck by lightning and the rattling of the thunder sends chills down your spine as it shakes your world. In the back of your mind you know there will be sun in the morning, so it will all be ok. But, imagine waking up one day without a huge part of your happiness, without your sunshine, and that turned into a lifetime?..

A perfectly picked heartbreak

A perfectly picked heartbreak. I can tell you now I'll never fall in love, no matter how hard I may love. See you don't ever really get back up once you fall. And people are so temporary, no matter how long you may have loved them, you should learn to love and never fall. I've learned to allow the words "I love you" to become stained upon my lips. And to allow the phrase returned by a man only to kiss my ego, never to echo into my forever giving hallow heart. In life you have to learn to let go, but they never tell you letting go is better than holding on, because nothing is worth keeping in this world, not even companionship. Everything and everyone you know and love will die or leave you behind in some way. So you may as well never get attached to begin with. Then, the letting go part becomes routine and less hurtful. No, I'm not bitter, just a bit wiser.

Manufactured Love

Lies...

Ever been used to them? You know, just listening to them, making the fabricator think you believe..? I have.. I know one when I hear one...I know but I say nothing. I allow you to duplicate your lies until you believe them. Until they become true. Until I believe too..

But what if the time runs out? And I don't succeed. And no matter how many times you tell me, you don't believe. And I look up to realize its still not true. And the Times run out, and my beauty too..

It'll never be, what I could see. Only the things, that left you with me. No I'm not number one. No I'm not the same. I'll never be the way, you envisioned things.

But throughout the pain, I never think to walk away. Not your fault, it's all on me. I allow this to be, so I can't help repeating, "please, just love ME..."

*Not that I don't think I'm good enough, sometimes I just don't think I am enough.*

One Glance

Sometimes I wonder if he'll leave the girl that he, only once, noticed.
Never seen by many
He only took a look once.
Never noticing her care.
Never noticing SHE'S  there.
Overlooking her presence
Only acknowledging her essence.
A shoulder to cry on.
But her heart always worries.
Is she delicate enough to be seen as pretty?
In the dark she stayed
Only because she was afraid,
That the man of her dreams would just soon fade away
Like everything she'd loved so dear
The one thing she wanted filled her with so much fear
To love unconditionally
And trust in someone
My prayers are real.
I've got you, but I'm so scared.
One day you won't be here.
One day you won't think I'm beautiful.
One day you'll walk away, and my every thing won't be around to tell me it's okay,
Or just to kid around.
One day my fairytale dream will come to an end.
No marriage, no kids, no white picket fence.
No more best friend.
And that ONE glance you took at me will come to an end.